Tuesday, July 12, 2011

It's for me....

welp, im not ready to go into details but i have to get this out....

 just know that its for me and my happiness. know that it hurts me to see you so sad and heart broken, know that i still love you, just not in the same way that i use to...

I can't pretend any longer, i can't hold back my annoyance, my wonder, my feelings about the whole situation...

your heart will heal in time, you may hate me after all your saddness fades, but i will understand. It will all be ok. I know it will. It will be hard, for the both of us...

But i am now taking my own happiness above yours, and im sorry, but its a must at this point. We will always share our memories together, the good and the bad. Just know that this is for me, and it's a must, in order for me to be happy....

i love you and you will always have that place in my heart... but its just time for me to move on..

Monday, July 11, 2011

Sorry but i gotta be strong and leave you behind....

*sigh*.... not into updating this thing any time soon.... figuring out my life at the moment... not sure which direction i should turn next, or just keep truckin forward..... ?

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Fun Day,... but some bad news

So tonight we went to an event they hold every summer all summer. Every friday night they hold a live band, food, venders and such at our local park in Shasta Lake, called, Friday Night At The Park (original huh? lol)

anyways went and had a blast with my girls, Erin, Jeni, Sarah and Rachel. we had some beers, and lots of laughs. Awekward momment though.... seen my ex. ick. he mades me sick to say the least. But i got a kick outa it cuz he seems STUNNED to see me lol (i seen him from accross the park) it was funny, he kept looking over as he was walking, then i seen his jaw drop lol. then i ran into his mom (who loves me btw) and talked, i guess they all thought i was in Hawaii still. funny stuff.

anyways, i didnt bring my camera, cuz i knew if i did i wouldn't have been social lol. but my friend got a few with her point n shot cam... will be up soon....

Bad news.... well were not going to Sacramento for school now, they have been dicking us around to say the least. and we also found out some stuff on the news, about how the school lies to people and especially people with the GI bill (which my hubby has) just to get there money. so now were not going. mixed emotions, sad and happy all in one. (sorry Nicole, =( but we can still do ring rentals some time!)

anyhow im sooo tired, its been a SUPER long day, i have lots more to say about today and Lilo, but will have to wait tell tomorrow, im off to bed. I got home way later then i thought, due to i had to sit out my beer before driving and i had to drop people off, then store, now finally home....

so yeah Night!

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Class 6-29-11

Class last night was awesome!!!!!

just from reading the first two chapter in the CU book I have learned quite a bit. So at class yesterday I tryed some new things out with Lilo, i was relaxed, we played then worked on focus and did some 2o2o before the rest of the class arrived. Then I just sat down and started reading my book, treated Lilo for giving me a down w.out asking for it, then through out the class, i treated her for looking at the other dogs, for watching them. And omg! the whole class she was looking SUPER FAST at the other dogs and instently looking back at me for a treat, lol i didnt even have time to click! lol shes so funny. but it worked! we got to sit with the class, we got pretty close to a few dogs(not close enough for them to touch, but still. progress!). then Lilo rocked the class in our exercises. We did the AFrame too! =) She loves it lol.

at the end of class i put lilo in the fenced area so she could potty and run a bit while we all talked. She started sprinting around like a crazy ass, it was soooo funny, she had everyone laughing. then she would run up to the fence and do a SUPER FAST play bow and run off, as if to say to the other dogs "Come Play, You Can't Catch Me!!!" but of course no one was brave enough to put there dogs into play with her... and after about 15 mins of that she was over her spazz attach lol.

funny thing is Chapter three, which i read last night after class, is were all the exercises starts, lol, but chapter 1 and 2 was so helpful that i kinda already got the idea of what i should be doing! Progress is a beautiful thing. And Information is even better! =) I'm a happy girl and a proud mamma! i slept like a rock last night it was Awesome!

anyways sorry had to update... maybe add more pics tonight =)

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Control Unleashed

so my book finally came. I freaking Love it already! I'm a slow reader, so i have only gotten to the 3rd Chapter, but i also took many breaks in between. =). 

Our camping trip last night went well... for the most part.
Elle hurt her pads pretty badly when we first go there, she just hauls ass to catch Lilo. poor girl spent the rest of the trip limpin around. You could tell it was very painful. but she'll be ok =)

My friend Chante and I spend most of our time laying out, playing with our Cameras. We actually learned new things about them, very cool. (Note, only one pic thats edited, and its prob not the one you think) =)...

Also notice my new water mark =)... yup i finally figured out how to do the water mark with a picture instead of just my name =))...

So Dustin and I also dissided that I'm not going to go to the school at AI, they don't offer what i TRULY want to do anyways, so why waste all my money. Graphic Design is fun and all, and i do enjoy doing it, but its also something that gets boring to me fairly quick. I would Love to go for photography. That's what i Really want to do. (what i've ALWAYS wanted to do sense i was little)

But with all the recent things I have been doing as well, I want to get more into the training world. I dont know about profetionally, but I deff want to be involved. So I've gone to the Haven Humane and helped there, I'm going back to take a class with them, so i can walk the dogs and take them to the yard to play. =)
fun stuff.

anyways im rambling on and on, i have to head out to work. =)

oh and heres a little buddy we made while camping, we found him in my friends purse lol
(baby rattle snake!)

Tell Next Time.....

Thursday, June 23, 2011


so i have an idea about a video.... 

i dont think anyone has Actually seen lilo and her issues, and im pretty sure only a few people from youtube know about it.... so im thinking of making a before and after video, document our progress and exercises from the book etc...

but idk if i should do a before and after, all in one video, or do a before video, then post updates along the way?

hummm.... thoughts?

Summer... =)

so today we had class, nothing too exciting, just stuff we already know, jump, multiple straight jumps, right and left jump turns. walk it, touch it, wait. on the dog walk board layed flat.... lilo was surprisingly clam today, maybe cuz im sooo tired and pretty calm myself. weird. hummm....

anyways all in all good class =) we're getting close to class almost being over though... sad face... but that means next step up! =) that much closer to learning even more....

i also ordered a book from clean run today, suggested by a few people in class, and Lyn aswell. "Control Unleashed" should be here no later then monday. im excited! then next month we might be ordering "Crate Games" by Susan Garrett...

im all for getting lilo under control, im determined and inspired to figure this whole thing out. Lilo will also be attending doggy day camp with Lyn hopefully next week. She wants to see lilo in action... See if its me thats the problem (as in resource guarding me) or if its a learned and practiced behavior... Either way im excited.

If i had to take a guess, i'd say its a little bit of both, lol. She's a bitch that dont like to share her momma, and her momma never really knows how to properly correct her when she does it lol.... we'll see.

anyways i have work tomorrow so im off to bed, im so out of it. i get off JUST IN TIME to watch the last susan garrett web thing. =) hopfully i wont miss much on my way home, and hopefully i get off in time lol

Tell Next Time.....

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Just a Video

this is was we did while my comp was down... =) 
i love this song lol. all katy perry songs for that matter lol. 


Monday, June 20, 2011

Yup-Great Day!

so today we went to a Demo at our Trainers house. It was a lot of fun, Lilo had a blast.

one of Lyns dogs, sooo freaking cute, kinda crazy like lilo. =)

So basically our first run was a Mess, Lilo was very excited, and it was her second demo, but her first time with a non fenced ring, with a crowd. So for our first run, she ran around like a nut case(it was pretty funny, and I found it pretty cute). but then after that she settled a bit and we did the run again(sadly my friend didn't get that one on film) and go figure she did it perfectly... blah. either way, im poud of her. =). our last few runs were great, super easy runs, but lilo was a bolt! i love her speed =)... she also got on the A-Frame for the first time today, her contact was a Fail lol. but w.e. lol i was surprise that Lyn let us even do the A-Frame today, pretty please. Lilo is fearless, it was nothing to her lol.

anyways blah blah blah, enough talking, lol im burnt out. Night....


Sunday, June 19, 2011


i think this would have gone great with my last post. I love this video, gets me every time. This deff sums lilo up to a T lol

Friday, June 17, 2011

A Realization And A Sigh Of Relief

Yesterday we had class...
Let just say it was a stressful evening.

So again last night at class Lilo got into it with another dog. She didn't break skin or draw blood, but she freaked out this dog pretty badly. It cried for a few mins after the incident. I felt horrible. After that Lilo became the butt of all the jokes for all my class mates. I know they were only trying to be funny, but it really hurt my feelings to point to were I wanted to leave. My trainer Lyn, did make me feel better by saying how great Lilo is doing with everything and how fast she is, and the best part, she said she thinks Lilo could take us to Finals when we start to trial =)... 
Lilo almost drowning herself trying to bring in a Log. Crazy Dog!

On my way home though, I couldn't stop thinking about everyone's' jokes and how much of an ass Lilo is. Once I got home the hubby asked how it went and I couldn't hold it back anymore, and cried my eyes out like a little baby. I explained to him what happen in class and how Lilo was the humor of the day(that pissed him off, so he said he'll come to class with me next week). I don't let people get the best of me very often, nor do I cry often at all. I'm the type of person that usually sweeps it under the rug when something is bothering me,(my mom and my hubby HATE this about me). 
There's a Reason it's called, Lilo's Crazy Life =)

After my explosion of emotion I posted on Facebook to get my frustration and disarrangement's out, which again I don't do often. I am glad I did though, it led me to talking to someone and she helped get me back on track. She explained to me, that Lilo is not just a bitch(cuz she does get along with other dogs just find at my house, at the lake, at friends houses) but that she is just Excited, and that it is common for the breed to get over stimulated and excited and then direct there excitement to aggression on other dogs. She told me about her kelpie, and how she has the same issues and how she has drew blood on other dogs before. I asked her if it was postible to trial with an aggressive dog, and she explained that she still does. She advised me to just keep lilo in her create untell its our turn to run, and also suggested a Calming Cap. She uses it on her dogs during trial to keep them calm and to prevent outbursts. 
My 'Special' Girl. lol.

Thanks to her I feel much better about this whole thing, and I googled it as well, and came across a lot of forums with people who have the same problem, and who still compete in sports with their dogs. I now know I have to work on keeping Lilo calm (that's my biggest challenge yet) and keep my head up. 
She's always so intense. I love it.

I doesn't bother me to sit alone, away from the group in class, it doesn't bother me that everyone in class always keeps a distance from me and Lilo, and in all honestly it doesn't bother me that Lilo isn't into socializing or playing with other dogs. I have dealt with all these things for almost 3 years now, and I don't expect Lilo to magically one day dis side that she wants to be playful with other dogs and be friendly. I except my dog for who she is, and I love her no matter what. I love her focus on me, her energy, her willingness to want to please me. I love her craziness and excitement for life and all we do together. I except the fact that we may never be able to sit with a group of people together at a trial, or event.... I just fucking Love this Damn Dog no matter what life throws our way. I will never doubt her like I did last night ever again, promise. =)


"The Real Joy Is In The Privilege And Ability To Step To The Start Line With Your Dog By You Side, Not In Crossing The Finish Line Victorious Over Others"

( the above quote now holds a completely new meaning to me then what it did just a few days ago, I love my dog, an am proud to be owned and loved by such an amazing girl)

Thursday, June 9, 2011


So tonights class went very well, minus one scuffle... Lilo's a naughty B**** lol. ops.

any ways I think this was out 3rd, maybe 4th class, and were already on a plank, working 2o2o!!! fast! lol
anyways Lilo's picking up her Right and Left on the jumps, she has her out touch and stay... she can walk the ladder and touch her target..... but...... she's a "spinner"... yeah, i guess theres a word for it.

Once she gets to her target at the end of the plank or the ladder (supposed to be a 2o2o) she likes to turn, or spin to the side to face me.... blah, usually im top star in class... lol ... uhhhhh not today! lol its ok tho, she says another dog (in our weekend practices) usto spin too... it'll just take me a tad bit longer to break that lol... other then that, her stays are killer. i was kinda embarrassed, I got to class early before anyone els, and Lyn wasnt outside, so i worked on her out touch and stay. While in her stay I run around her all crazy, back and fourth, around her, and even jumped over her a few time =P and she stayed, good girl, but after class Lyn was saying how good her stay was... I was all huh?, she said she was watching me through the window. lol.... made me laugh and blush a bit. lol... i dont know why... lol

anyways its late im beat. long day, went rollerblading this morning then spent a few hours at the lake... im beat, dogs are beat... and tomorrow.... all day at the lake.... i'll probly cut it short for me tho, Lyn lent me her guide wires and i REALLY want to test em out =) no more popping weaves! lol yay.

Tell Next Time....

Tuesday, June 7, 2011


Spent the day at the lake with my sis, and best girl Jennica and her sister Chante! 
Of course all the dogs came....
Lilo, Elle, Megan, Dot, Sweet Pee and Mob!!! yes a LOT of damn dogs! =)

any how... pics!!!!
Me and Haylee Rockin out on our way...
Jennica on the left, me and Chante on the right.
eekkk, my Butt is Crack-a-lackin! lmfao!
me, jennica and chante
Chante, and Jennica. me in the back
me and Haylee...

And tomorrow.... me haylee and chante are going roller blading with the dogs. then i have class with lilo =)

Tell Next Time!

Monday, June 6, 2011


I Just Want To Go Outside And Punch This Weather In The Face!!!!!!!!  =)

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Memmories and Deep Thoughts

I LOVE this picture... 
So today turned out to be pretty good. The sun came out! So after work I took the girls to my grandparents to run and work lilo on her weaves.... They had a blast, and Lilo weaves weren't all that bad, considering how long its been. =) It felt good to get outa the house with the dogs.

 I love being alone with my dogs, in a grassy meadow  or even just the lake. I love watching them run and play. The quiet and environment gives me an amazing opportunity to think...
I love just laying in the grass and staring at the clouds... I was kinda wishing I was more on a hill then in a meadow so I could watch the sun set, but that was okay, it was still beautiful. =)

I'm a HUGE sun set and sun rise person. A few years back, when I was doing things I shouldn't have been and hanging out with people I shouldn't have been, I remember I spent a lot of time living out of my truck(by my own choice, cause me and my mom just didn't mix well at this time). I remember staying up all night with my friends at the lake many times, and even though I knew what I was doing probably wasn't what I should have been doing at that time, whenever the sun would start coming up, it all kinda seemed worth it... Just to sit there and watch it come up, the sky changing colors, the warmth of the raise, just the shear beauty of it, made it all worth it...

This is what I was thinking about today... strange I know, but the sunset and sun rise just brings back so many memories.... memories of old friends, family, and even ex boyfriends.... some good, that I could replay a million times over in my head and wish I was there again, some I'd rather not remember. Some happy, some sad, even some make my heart glow, and other break it.... 

It's strange to me how something as simple as watching the sun rise or set can trigger so many different thoughts, feelings and memories. It's kind of a beautiful thing...

This summer I'll be able to show you exactly what I'm talking about with a picture.... =)

Tell Next Time....

Sunday, May 29, 2011


So yeah, Ive been crazy busy with work. Although I don't mind cuz I love working at the water park, its sooo much fun, brings back a lot of memories. some good, some kinda sad (not ganna get into all that nonsense lol, too tired lol )

anyways i was just saying Hey, I'm still around. lol, haven't had time to do Any agility, barley even doing our homework for class, ugh...  but i'll figure out how to manage my time soon enough. =) and we'll be back on track, promise.... im just praying that we find a place in Sac with a big yard, it'll be soooo much easier to practice if i had a yard... i mean your only posto practice for short amounts of time, and when you have to drive 15 or more mins away to practice for only 15 mins at the most, it gets tiresome and so annoying... if i had my own yard i could do it right then when i feel like doing it and not have to worry about loading up the truck, getting enough water, making sure i have gas and all that stuff that in its self takes about a half hour.... ugh... but soon enough i hopefully will =-) fingers crossed!

anyways, im sooooo freaking tired, work Again in the A.M.... all week infact. Friday is my only day off, so maybe get some agility in then... we'll see, i might op out for a relaxing day at the lake with the dogs and kayaks lol..... hummmm.... choices choices... lol


Tell Next Time.....

Monday, May 23, 2011

Fun Day At The Lake

“Learn to appreciate the things you have before time makes you appreciate the things you had.”
Photo OVER LOAD!!!
Well, Elle went swimming today! She is soooo awkward to watch. She swims like a frog, lol she kicks both her back feet at the same time. =P
Photo of the day... Lilo is so purdy, i love this damn dog! <3 lol
The face of a REALLY intense and pleasure filled scratch...
The face of Satisfaction lol.
Lilo enjoying the view.
Lilo yelling at me. lol
Run away ear...
Yup, that's about all we did today. =)
Oh, and there's this cat that has been hanging out for the past week or two, and today I finally got a good look at her, and it looks like she's prego. So I put some of Steve's food outside for her, and as soon as I came inside she went sprinting for it and gobbled it up =). 
Then she was gone. Until the hubby went to the store and when he came back he seen her curdled up in our garage. Of course she bolted when he pulled in. So we took the hard kennel, a blanket, food and water outside and put it in the garage for her. Hopefully she'll sleep there and be comfy!
At first I thought Dustin might be a bit upset at another mouth to feed, but after we fixed up the kennel and came inside, he got excited and said "So now what are we going to name the kitty? It has to be something hella cool!" hahahaha 
My BFF Erin is also excited because if she is prego, she wants a kitty! AND my mom said she wants a kitty too. She wants a kitty that will play with her yorkies like Steve plays with Elle. =) All very exciting. Now if i can only get the kitty to come up to me so I can check her over.... =)

Tell Next Time...