It's for me....

welp, im not ready to go into details but i have to get this out....

 just know that its for me and my happiness. know that it hurts me to see you so sad and heart broken, know that i still love you, just not in the same way that i use to...

I can't pretend any longer, i can't hold back my annoyance, my wonder, my feelings about the whole situation...

your heart will heal in time, you may hate me after all your saddness fades, but i will understand. It will all be ok. I know it will. It will be hard, for the both of us...

But i am now taking my own happiness above yours, and im sorry, but its a must at this point. We will always share our memories together, the good and the bad. Just know that this is for me, and it's a must, in order for me to be happy....

i love you and you will always have that place in my heart... but its just time for me to move on..

Sorry but i gotta be strong and leave you behind....

*sigh*.... not into updating this thing any time soon.... figuring out my life at the moment... not sure which direction i should turn next, or just keep truckin forward..... ?

Fun Day,... but some bad news

So tonight we went to an event they hold every summer all summer. Every friday night they hold a live band, food, venders and such at our local park in Shasta Lake, called, Friday Night At The Park (original huh? lol)

anyways went and had a blast with my girls, Erin, Jeni, Sarah and Rachel. we had some beers, and lots of laughs. Awekward momment though.... seen my ex. ick. he mades me sick to say the least. But i got a kick outa it cuz he seems STUNNED to see me lol (i seen him from accross the park) it was funny, he kept looking over as he was walking, then i seen his jaw drop lol. then i ran into his mom (who loves me btw) and talked, i guess they all thought i was in Hawaii still. funny stuff.

anyways, i didnt bring my camera, cuz i knew if i did i wouldn't have been social lol. but my friend got a few with her point n shot cam... will be up soon....

Bad news.... well were not going to Sacramento for school now, they have been dicking us around to say the least. and we also found out some stuff on the news, about how the school lies to people and especially people with the GI bill (which my hubby has) just to get there money. so now were not going. mixed emotions, sad and happy all in one. (sorry Nicole, =( but we can still do ring rentals some time!)

anyhow im sooo tired, its been a SUPER long day, i have lots more to say about today and Lilo, but will have to wait tell tomorrow, im off to bed. I got home way later then i thought, due to i had to sit out my beer before driving and i had to drop people off, then store, now finally home....

so yeah Night!